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Glliterhati!wakakakaaka!

Disebabkan Sejarah akan menjadi mata pelajaran wajib lulus utk SPM 2013, sila jawab soalan dibwh ini. ‎​Dilarang senyum atau ketawa semasa menjawab, kalau tidak anda akan digagalkan.

1. Siapakah yang membuka Melaka?
a. Param
b. Parameswari
c. Paramugari Terlampau
d. Parameswara
e. Parang Kontot

2. Pada tahun 1771, seorang penjelajah Inggeris telah tiba di sebuah kawasan yang dikenali sebagai New Hebrides, siapakah dia?
a. Kapten Hook
b. Kapten Crook
c. Kapten Cook
d. Kapten Cool
e. Kapten Boleh

3. Siapakah yang pernah menjadi pemerintah Sarawak?
a. Brooke Shields
b. James Beruk
c. James Bond
d. Sapok Biki
e. James Brooke

4. Siapakah yang membuka Pulau Pinang?

a. Torch Light
b. Traffic Light
c. Francisca Peters
d. Light and Easy
e. Francis Light

5. Salah seorang pahlawan melayu terbilang…
a. Tuk Janggut
b. Tuk Misai
c. Tuk Sideburn
d. Tuk Misai A Galak
e. Tuk Bulu Hidung

6. Pahlawan Melayu di Pahang..
a. Mat Kilau
b. Mat Silau
c. M Daud Kilau
d. Mat Sentul
e. Mat Rempit

7. Siapakah Residen Inggeris di Negeri Perak yang dibunuh oleh Datuk Maharajalela?
a. Jawa Jerongos
b. J.W.W Birch
c. Jay Jay
d. J.W.Marriot
e. Jawa Rangers

8. Negara manakah yang menjajah Tanah Melayu selepas Portugis?
a. Ayam Belanda
b. Bela Anda
c. Blender
d. Belanda
e. Blunder

9. Apakah antara hantaran yang diminta Puteri Gunung Ledang kepada Sultan Melaka?
a. 7 dulang hati nyamuk
b. 7 dulang tongkeng ayam
c. 7 dulang tahi hidung
d. 7 dulang tahi lalat
e. 7 dulang gigi arnab

10. Siapakah puteri Pahang yang mencintai Hang Tuah?
a. Tun Mahathir
b. Tan Tin Tun
c. Tun Tak Tahu Eja
d. Tun Teja
e. Arnold Susahanakeja

11. Siapakah puteri Negeri China yang berkahwin dengan Sultan Melaka?
a. Puteri Hang Li Po
b. Puteri Kepala Hotak Hang!
c. Puteri Opah Hang!
d. Puteri Hang Go Poh
e. Puteri Hang Cing

12. Ikan apakah yang melanggar Singapura?

a. Ikan Bilis
b. Ikan Masin
c. Ikan Kembung Masak Asam
d. Ikan kekek mak iloi-iloi
e. Ikan Todak

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Whoever yang cipta soalan2 nih, salute lah pala otak korang! Actually this was sent right after i received the Kalau Dedulu Ada Facebook, itu lagi terbahak2 kitorg baca reramai weih…..kitaorg punya happening gelak dok menahan perut, sampai ada yang nak pi kencing lelaju hiks…

hah..have a splendid weekend everyone 🙂

Comment: 28

Suri poop!

giler besauuuuuuuuuu taik anak ko Tom!

oh oh! 2 hari ni memang bantai letak cite dari emails forwarded yek, coz saya sedang berada dalam zone berehat2 🙂

Comment: 25

Never ask Designers…

This is very funny…

Story goes :

Shannon (the secretary) has lost her cat and has asked David (the graphic designer) to help with a lost poster. This is their email correspondence…

Read from top to bottom….
_________________

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon
.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.


From:David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news.
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don’t like cats. Attached poster as requested.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It’s a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don’t come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don’t have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend’s cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter. I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says “I haven’t seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?” you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

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hahahahahahahhahahhahahhaha!!!!!

gelakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk giler aku baca email nih….even aku forward kat Sirman pun dia ngakak2 gelak! so for the lovely Saturday today, apa kata aku paste je sama2 kita kongsi gelak. ehhehehehe

mana punya designer lah nih, kalau aku dah hilang sabar dah dapat kawan kerja macam nih, orang hilang kucing, dia lagi nak main2kan ngan kepakaran poster dia.

ehehehhehe….Missy The Cat. entah betul ler idak memang kisah benar ke emails nih but memang lawok sungguh!

Comment: 36