Never ask Designers…

This is very funny…

Story goes :

Shannon (the secretary) has lost her cat and has asked David (the graphic designer) to help with a lost poster. This is their email correspondence…

Read from top to bottom….
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From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon
.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.


From:David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news.
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don’t like cats. Attached poster as requested.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It’s a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don’t come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don’t have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend’s cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter. I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says “I haven’t seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?” you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

***********************

hahahahahahahhahahhahahhaha!!!!!

gelakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk giler aku baca email nih….even aku forward kat Sirman pun dia ngakak2 gelak! so for the lovely Saturday today, apa kata aku paste je sama2 kita kongsi gelak. ehhehehehe

mana punya designer lah nih, kalau aku dah hilang sabar dah dapat kawan kerja macam nih, orang hilang kucing, dia lagi nak main2kan ngan kepakaran poster dia.

ehehehhehe….Missy The Cat. entah betul ler idak memang kisah benar ke emails nih but memang lawok sungguh!

Comment: 36

Berapa jam korang ngabihkan masa with blogging?

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aku punya schedule blogging very the sistematik:

1. 9pm to 1 or 2am during weekdays

2. for weekend tak kira pukul berapa pun aku start, usually lagi later than 9pm, but aku mesti tidur after 3 to 4am.

apa yang aku buat lama nau, kadang2 aku siapkan adv tu dah tentu tu yang masa kena ada terlajak2, pastuh aku kena buat the entries yang korang baca, dah bertahun2 aku buat auto publish. takkanlah kol 8.30 pagi punya entry aku buat dari kol 8 pagi jugak, aku buat malam sebelumnya, kadang2 2,3 hari awal aku dah siapkan or seminggu awal pastu aku olah2 balik bila nearer to the date of publishing. cer pikir paling logik aku dah ada kat Amsterdam and Paris, entries masih macam biasa jer takde pun cakap pasal Europe trip tup2 je gambo aku dah ada kat Paris.

penah aku ada kat Jakarta for 4 days, 4 hari tu jugak entries aku dah siap awal2 and looks like macam aku ada kat KL. gitu gomannya….so auto schedule is important to me. i blog selepas anak2 aku tidur, coz depa tidur at 830pm, so kalau kadang2 tu aku ngadap tv pun cite CSI jer, sambil2 tengok tu pun aku blogging depan tv gak.

During kerja aku tak leh nak blogging, mak di opis busy you, so mak pun tak cukup kaki tangan, moderate komen pun kalo aku tak dan buat via bb, sirman yang monitor. alah momantai, semua can handle di tangan jer…sambil jalan or kencing pun can do one.

Ko tak layan laki ke kak?

laki aku sebelah aku lah sambil aku blogging gak, dia pun melayan RM nya emails yang banyak nau masuk tanya pasal PROMO PUASA RAYA lately nih…dia nak air kopi, aku benti le pi buatkan, dia nak makan bersuap, sambil blogging pun aku suapkanlah. kitorg dedua kepala internet. tapi dia tak lah bertangga sampai midnite or pagi2, dia bukannya blogging sangat pun, blog dia pun dah makan dek anai2! dia tengok sume entries aku, cek mana yang patut, ayat mana yang tak patut kang dia edit  ler, dia pun ada side job dia gak via lappy nya. apa2 pun kitorg mmg dok sesama je buat keje ngadap computer memalam.

tapi tapiiii….paling pedih bila ada event to attend, balik dah midnite hahahha, and nak kena buat the trow’s entries ehhehehe kiralah kol baper aku tidur. ngehh 🙂 so pahamlah sudah mengapa aku sangat2 mohon menikmati tidur yang lama…

Comment: 28

the D the K the N the Y!

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oh nampak sedap, tapi rasanya macam tak sedap… 🙂

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ni pun nampak sedap but orangnya makan tak cakap sedap pung 🙂

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ini sedapppp! baked fish, tapi kentang + ulam tuh aku campak kat the girls, aku makan fish tu semata2!

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Yanok, Rose and Sid – tak cukup korum lagik, Ayuthesun kena bertapa kat TheSun till malam buta.  iskk sian ko yek. Dila pulak mana boleh…MY HUBBY nya kan ado, orang baru kawin ko, ape barang nak meet up kalau baik tenung2 lakinya tuh…ehhehehee. so i bought 5 movie tickets of Street Dance for me and GBM girls, except for Dila. but malangnya Ayu dah tak dapat nak turn up, 1 tix extra tuh kita org buat letak handbags memasing.

itupun kan ada orang tuh siap duduk kat tpt yang extra aku beli tuh, apehal ko, bangun bangun, seat tu berbayo yek. Yanok laju jer letak barang2 dia 🙂

Oh citer Street Dance tu from Aus, hemm hemm. kalo ko ada masalah, tak nak pikir banyak,  poi je lah tengok citer nya. street dance and ballet bergabung, pastuh susun atur cerita pun very the predictable, dah tau apa ending apa jadi selepas2 tuh. ok jer lah.

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kek for them, donno diorg kata tak sedap, aku tak makan. dah full with hot choc + baked fish

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kek for me from them, pun aku tak makan, but yanok ngap, aku makan strawberry tu jer, katanya merah kan!

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pretending….

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drama queen

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ko hado??

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wpun hanya DKNY! **kena sebut gini coz nanti ada yang buat issue, ELEH AKU PAKAI TAG HEUER lagi hebat than DKNY! amboi cili mulut tu kang nak?

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KIASU!

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eh eh…pangai buruk tollah, asal ulam dalca je ko buang ke tepi kan…itulah satu pangai RM yang buruk, aku mmg tak gemor dalca and ulam2 sayur bagai nih. sayur pun aku makan memilih2….

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ahah the next day pompuan ni nak amik barang dari aku, and showing off her new red Long Champ…nice cantik comel  lote. i used to have this too, it was my first designer handbag, but now no more, i sold it oredy. Oh she got the Long Champ from Harrods London uuuuu….as a gift lagik.  baik hati kan sapa yang adiahkan kat dia tuh? dengonya her gang oso ramai dapat. apasal korang dapat, tapi aku tak dapat??

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can act as bracelet

anw, jam tu dah watamat…depa dah amik balik coz ada orang tu fussy bonar! diorg pergi bawak tukarlah! ahahhaha….tq for the sweet silver DKNY, taun depan nak Tag ke Omega pulak yek, demand giler aku macam GBM nak melayan! tapi kalau taun depan bagi TAG Omega matiklah aku kena upgradekan lagik se-value with the TAG Omega.

ni hangpa jangan boring yek, cite present nih sebenornya dah abis, but sebab jumpa orang lambat kan, ada yang still dalam perjalanan lagi, so kira macam berminggu2 la kuornya.  Lek lah weih, i havent opened the protected entry yet yang dulu ke main orang nak tengok. baru tunjuk apa orang bagi nih jer. Hadiah aku dapat, lagilah wajib show show show!

Eh chop chop, aku ada benda nak give away kat korang – FOC! nanti aku shout yek, only for the first 40 readers sahaja. keep on checking RM yek 🙂

Comment: 22

Bunga merah untuk ibu yang rajuk…

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sebelum lagi banyak komen korang yang buat aku menangis dan meleleh2 ayo mata kat entry MAKNYA LARI DARI RUMAH sebelum nih, baiklah aku bukak entry nih cecepat…aku balik semalam sekali arung ngan bapaknya, nak masuk rumah sama2, so sanggup nih tunggu buat keje lama giler kat opis till dapat bbmed sirman ‘balik balik now’ ngehhehehehe….

so kitorg masuk rumah sesama, rupanya sirman dah kawtim ngan abang suh pi carikkan bunga utk mak nya.

ehwahhhh! nak beli bunga kat florist shop bapak korang tak nak kuor banjer, so petang tuh Abang, adiknya and helper aku pi lah carik kat sekitar VA. DBKL= jangan marah yek, anak aku berniat murni sangat ni….

oh bunga tu terjatuh dari cup, tu yang gigih2 kutip balik deco giler2 nak bagi kat mak nya yang kuat menyentap. huhuuuu

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ni takde main repeat2 yek, aku baru je masuk umah nih terus dia peluk2 tangkap maknya and bagi surat cinta + a cup of flowers. kan muka maknya cembeng sepedo sungguh, bughukkkkkkkkk! woi Redmummy ko sedor tak muka ko buruk bila cembeng2 macam tuh??

n Gegirl adalah kepohcik menyebok ahhahaha,anw sian gak Gegirl coz bila abangnya kena grounded 2 weeks nih, dia pun tak leh nak pi playground, tak leh tengok tv bila abangnya ada. or else abangnya tak leh join dia tengok cartoon lah yeopp…

eh aku ada cakap kan, bapaknya grounded abang for 2 weeks? hari tu dah kena 1 week, now bapak dia upgrade for 2 weeks.

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so dah berdamailah si mak ngan anak, maknya pun sebenornya dah rindu ngan anak2 nya oiii…malam tu aku tidurkan diorg, dari a to z abang citer. 2 kali dia menangis, first masa dia baca surat2 aku tuh,dia tak nangis sangat, but balik sekolah agama pas mandi, dia baca balik semua dia terus menangis. sedih tol dia buat mak nya gitu. pastuh pagi semalam waktu pi NK, pun dia nangis sedih sangat. He feels so guilty.

at least he got the idea…and he told his 2 bestfrens yang sama2 tiap2 petang main kat playground, for 2 weeks dia kena grounded. so kawan2 dia paham lah…takde lah diorang nak racun dia ajak pi playground or datang rumah main2 sebab tau the rules.

sebenornya jugak malam sebelum tuh, alah yang masa aku lari2 tu lah, Sirman dah slow talked jugak ngan Abang, so dia dah tau salah silapnya. maknya pun baper lama nak merajuk kan kan kan?

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cantik tak gubahan nih? hahahah budak tu sungguh2 kutip ek, aku siap hias atas meja makan lagik hikss. cup tuh rasanya dapat dari one of the weddings ke aku dapat masa reunion sekolah aku arituh, ni mesti akal panjang dia ngan adiknya and helper aku gak lah nih…bagus bagus, creative! tak yah kuor duit, utilise kan apa sahaja yang ada di dalam rumah mahupun luar rumah.

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terima kasih abang, terima kasih to Sirman yang initiate the pencatuman kasih 2 beranak semula, terima kasih gak korang yang bagi komen, haisay, sedih kay aku baca. sapa tak sayang anak oiii….sometimes we have to act like this, so they will get the picture jugak, bukanlah sembarangan aku nak merajuk. wpun ye betul mengado2 tol tua2 nak merajuk, eh tak kira muda tua, tetap merajuk tu akan datang, makpak aku pun tua2 tu pun sama ada jugak pangai majuknya datang….

aku pun wpun ada anak, masih gak baca parenting tips dari internet, google je and carik information kat situ, but tu lah kan….dari sini pun si adiknya belajar pengalaman sama jugak, tapi malam tu kelakarlah, waktu bunga2 tu jatuhkan, sirman, gegirl and helper aku dok gelak2 belakang abang (tanpa suara) coz rasa kelakar tol tengok mak ngan anak dok bermadu kasih menyambung semula sayang yang tertebuk. ewahhh ayat very the sasterawanita!

oklah korang, it s a good ending, alhamdulillah.

Comment: 38

Mak lari dari rumah, menyusul surat cinta…

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few nites ago aku duduk kat depan pc, macam malam2 yang sama gak, dok blogging semedang… nak menaip panjang ke nak menaip pendek. ada sikap abang yang sudah mengguris hatiku. if u notice dalam twitter aku dok study pasal few things on children behavior, bukan kita tak pernah kecil, tapi dulu kita budak kita pun buat salah, sume benda betul pada kita. and kita as aku pun suka nak bikin mak abah aku panas.  Sirman scolded him so badly, but tangan tak naik….nasib ko baik bang. I got home very late,  n dapat  sms from Fifin too saying ‘kakak jangan marah abang, nasihat saja, jangan pukul ye kak’.

waktu semua orang sudah tidur, aku tulis 3 surat + 1 green note untuk abang, bukan surat cinta bukan surat kasih sayang. surat seorang ibu yang sedih dengan perilaku anaknya….sedih sampai aku rasa baik aku tulis surat ajer, instead of talking to him directly.

*** Setitik air mata ibu jatuh, 10 kebajikan anak hilang so ibu jangan jatuh air mata ye and anak jangan bagi ibu jatuh air mata.  Menangis kerana anak berjaya dan bukan sedih kerana angkara sikap anak ****dari sumber email.

inilah cabaran besar sebagai ibubapa….halahai, semakin membesar anak-anak nih, semakin kuat godaan dan cubaan kat dunia luar tuh. hemm…oklah aku ngah merajuk lagi ni ngan abang, rasanya malam ni aku nak pergi bawak diri jap lah…sementalah pula aku ada hal luar malam nih.

rajuknya hati seorang emak……

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The next nite aku balik lambat lagi, sebenornya pretend lari dari rumah, coz merajuk ngan si anak, dia tepon banyak kali aku cancel call tak nak jawab. merajuk kay!! merajukkkkk!! ha ko tu lah, mak ko kalau merajuk, sampai tidur atas lantai. iya nyahhh…..aku tidur atas carpet, lapik ngan toto coz depa 3 dah tidur mati atas katil, sampai aku takdak ruang. udahlah ngah merajuk sendu, so macam memang sentap giler. tarik je toto tidur le kat lantai…bangun pagi baru sirman geti angkat kan ke katil, sakit2 dah pinggang badan aku, udahlah aku tak leh baring atas lantai, sejuk tu menangkap ke tulang. wahhahaha boleh je pi tidur kat bilik diorg or kat luor, but aku bukan majuk ngan laki aku, majuk ngan anak aku jer…

so…

surat tu dia tampal kat meja make up aku, aku diam x nak jawab, dah 2 malam pun tak jumpa ngadap dia, coz 2 malam maknya lari dari rumah kan. bila diorg dah tidur baru mak nya balik hahahahahah!

tu majuk ngan anak tuh, kalau aku majuk ngan laki aku, dapatlah korang bayangkan camner kay……so la ni masih lagi perang dingin, abang trying to pujuk lah over the phone/surat tapi maknya masih lagi membawa hati yang pilu luka lara. tak tau lah malam ni nanti, takkan hari2 nak balik pas diorg tidur jer….ado gak kono jeling ngan laki den.

kena kuat lagi pujuk nih, pengeras kurang…kalau power lagi dia pujuk baru maknya sejuk hati sket kot. so sirman, mainkan lagi perananmu jadi middle man for us. benda merajuk nih bukan macam memain ko…dia macam alahai, alah kita dah jadi mak ni paham lah, so aku dah pahamlah napa mak aku dulu ada merajuk kecik hati ngan aku gak dulu…

**parenting tip is only applicable untuk surat menyurat anak beranak kay, but not the lari dari rumah 🙂

Comment: 31